November is National Adoption Month

by Irene Clements

Raising public awareness of the over 100,000 children living in foster care who are waiting for their very own permanent family is top priority during National Adoption Month. Of course, time is also taken to celebrate and honor those families who adopt children from the foster care system. Special thanks from the National Foster Parent Association to all the foster parents who also choose to adopt the children in their homes or other children from the foster care system.

Need input from foster parents on sex trafficking and re-homing

Dear NFPA Board and Council of State Affiliates members and NFPA members,

NFPA (and our State Affiliates) have been asked by the staff of the Human Resources Subcommittee of the House Ways and Means Committee in Washington, DC, to provide information on two very important topics: sex trafficking of youth in foster care and re-homing. The Committees is and will continue to address each of the following topics and wants input from foster parents and child advocates on both.  Please send your comments to me at iclements@NFPAonline.org as I have agreed to gather the comments and provide them to the Committee staff.

NFPA president to appear on 'Foster Talk with Dr. John'

NFPA's president Irene Clements has the honor of being the first guest on the new Foster Talk with Dr. John, America's only radio program dedicated to foster care.

"NFPA is happy to support John in his efforts to bring awareness to foster care issues," said Irene. "He was at a Texas conference this past weekend and did a wonderful job for our attendees, and I look forward to spending some time with him Monday on the show."

Listen in on Monday, October 21 at 8 p.m. EST as Irene and Dr. John DeGarmo discuss NFPA and the latest issues in foster care.

You can also call in to speak with Dr. John during the show at 347.996.3187.

From our mailbag: Sincere thanks for scholarship

Good news from our mailbag:

Hello, 

On behalf of my adopted daughter, I wanted to send our sincere thanks for the $500 scholarship from the National Foster Parent Association. I don't know if [she] has thanked you properly, so I wanted to make sure I sent this (belated) thank you. I apologize if she has never sent you a thank-you note. [She] is putting her $500 scholarship toward college expenses; she is now a full-time college student at Humboldt State University. 

Again, please accept our sincere gratitude for [her] scholarship. Thank you so much. Take care.

Warmest wishes,
Tamara G.

It's always great to hear from our scholarship recipients (and their parents)!

Triggers -- Understanding from a Foster Child's Perspective Part 3

By John Ross
Reprinted with permission

In Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, John relayed how triggers develop. Now he gives us suggestions on how we can be more understanding as foster parents.

"Knowing what is played back in their head for each trigger, helps a great deal..."

This happens to some kids when they go home for supervised or unsupervised visits. That’s where the abuse took place for some of them. So, it stands to reason their behavior would be poorly when they return to our homes. Why would anyone expect every child to come back acting wonderfully pleasant? Bio doesn’t have to always do something to upset the child. The place for some is a trigger in of itself. I hear foster parents complain a lot about how horrible the kids behave after they return from visits with bio. For some kids, I expect it.

Triggers -- Understanding from a Foster Child's Perspective Part 2

Credit: Graphic Nature Stickers

By John Ross
Reprinted with permission

In Part 1 of this series, John recounted how opening oatmeal triggered a 50-years-old memory for him, and how memories affect how children in care behave. 

The fact that just smelling the oatmeal produced an immediate memory, so sudden, had it been a bad memory, it more than likely would have hit me like a ghost suddenly appearing in front of me and yelling BOO! I more than likely would have had a negative reaction and would probably not have made oatmeal. In fact, I may decide to never eat oatmeal again. I may have a negative reaction every time oatmeal is served and instead of being able to verbalize why the sight of oatmeal bothers me, my behavior may display it, and if no one connects the oatmeal to my behavior, then my behavior may appear to be occasional willful disruptions at meal time. Since the trigger brought a memory of abuse so quickly, a child may react in sudden fright, heart pounding, they may jump, scream or run away because the memory was way too sudden for them. I have seen this happen to kids in my care many times. I have seen this happen to kids at school, many times. I have seen this happen to kids in department stores, playgrounds, you name it. You can see it in their face, their reactions, and their behavior.

Triggers -- Understanding from a Child's Perspective Part 1

Credit: Marty Figley

By John Ross
Reprinted with permission 

Have you ever smelled something and it brought back memories from your childhood? I opened a container of raw oatmeal and for some reason decided to smell it, and there was an instant memory from my childhood of me eating raw oatmeal. The memory was vivid, the taste of the raw oatmeal was fresh in my mouth; I even saw myself in the memory, reaching in the box and getting a handful and putting it in my mouth and eating it. This would have been over 50 years ago for me. The thing that caught my attention the most was; how “instantly” the memory came. It was very abrupt, without warning, it was just there, playing in full and very detailed. And all I did was smell the raw oatmeal.